Befriend momentum & level up.

My favourite word. “MOMENTUM”.

It’s simple and beautiful and it energizes the shiz out of me! Why? Because I have attached a shed load of emotion to it and emotion is what climbs into our hearts and pulls us by the hand towards where we are going next – good or bad. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary describes it as;

  • :the strength or force that something has when it is moving
  • :the strength or force that allows something to continue or to grow stronger or faster as time passes

To me, it means directional drive. Which is the direction in which I am building energy – Good energy.. low energy.. a lot of energy – which leads to ACTION or inaction. Where are my habits forcing me to go? Are my actions and mindset pushing towards being happy as a pig rolling in muck or feeling dried up like a little raisin? If the answer is no and there’s no happy piggy in my near future then I STOP. Stop what I’m doing or thinking and REDIRECT. This isn’t a case of letting my emotions decide and be an excuse for low results. It’s about making a conscious, purposeful decision about where those actions are going to lead me – a good place or a bad place. Regardless of the way I feel about it.

Understanding momentum and learning to recognise how and when it works in our daily lives led me to finally understand the phrase from Tony Robbins “where focus goes, energy flows”. Everything we take an action on a daily basis – our routine – is what creates our current and future results. Ever get into a rut and you just cannot for the life of Jesus pick yourself out of it? MOMENTUM.

“When you get stuck in a rut, you start to rot”  I heard Gordon Ramsay say that on Kitchen Nightmares one day and it really stuck with me.

You’ve created energy and built momentum in a useless direction. You’re being driven downwards. That feeling of doing nothing all day and being more tired than ever? When you get sick and then struggle to get back into the flow of your life once you feel better? It’s also the reason depression can be so hard to overcome, because you spend so much time and energy thinking negative thoughts and feeling blank that you get trapped in it and it can become a real struggle to turn around. Same with anxiety, you spend all your time worrying about anything and everything and it becomes a habit (not a personality trait!!! A habit).

Now the good news. The reason I loooove “momentum”, this glorious force that takes place in our lives to take us places. I love it because it also has the strong potential to send us on an upward spiral, it gets us results and leads us to take action like never before! Like those days where you start off washing the dishes and then 3 hours later, the windows are all gleaming and, should you wish to, you could drink your green juice straight out the toilet.

Momentum is the definition of the phrase “we just started ‘XYZ’ one day, our lives changed and we never looked back”. It’s so bloody wonderful because we all have it. It’s not something you have to learn or a personality trait that only a handful of people are born with, it’s just there. An energy that exists within human nature. A driving force within each and every one of us that can be harvested and taken advantage of. Something that will work with you if you just take that first tiny step in the right direction. It only takes one action, one thought or one little spark of energy to drive your life to a whole new level. And I believe that’s the point of our existence. To be constantly improving. Always better than before. Learning a new perspective, creating a different experience, growing! Sure, every once in a while we slip on the ladder and end up falling down a step or two but all of our today’s should be another step up from the day before regardless of what gets put in our way to drag us down. That’s what creates excitement and I strongly believe that excitement is the key to happiness, peace of mind and having high energy! Don’t you just love being around those people who are so full of beans that it becomes infectious and you feel that awakening energy that changes the atmosphere?

Momentum is how you get there. You just have to take that first step in the right direction. Drinking more water one glass at a time. Start your day when the alarm actually goes off and don’t hit snooze just one day at a time. Set a date for something on your bucket list. Take just one single step and THEN another and THEN another. Get the ball rolling one exhilarating step at a time.

Just know this.

Whatever you do today is creating an energy that will be a driving force for you to continue on that path and momentum is the reason. So work with it! It’s a gift from god that isn’t going away. It’s going to keep it’s hand on your back shoving you deeper in the hole or lifting you up to the next level. The trick is that you must make the conscious decision to be the guide or you will be led by your current environment instead of moving forward.

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10 Ways To Sabotage Your Future & Avoid Success

1. Don’t bother with a routine. You won’t need it..

Just let the day pass you by. You have no plans anyway, just go with the flow, let life happen to you. If you don’t want to be successful at anything then you will be mostly procrastinating anyway. However, if you need some extra personal torture or don’t feel that you have quite enough “failure” in your life then creating a routine might be a great idea for you. If that’s the case then you’ll want to write it all down and promise yourself you will follow it, then don’t. It’s really easy but this is your number one step to self sabotage and that’s the goal, right?

2. Put serious effort into being as undisciplined as possible.

This is really quite enjoyable because being unsuccessful (consciously or unconsciously) greatly consists of getting to indulge in short term satisfaction. That means that any little craving you have -whether it be for shit “food”, 9 bottles of wine, a toxic relationship or handful of class A’s – you can give in to it immediately. After all, your ultimate aim is not health or happiness so go ahead and hit snooze,  don’t bother cleaning up after yourself and don’t put effort into anything. Surely “If it’s mean to be, it will happen??” Be as undisciplined as you possibly can! Wait for a voice in your head that will say “it doesn’t matter, do it later, start on Monday, just watch TV” and you can be like, “Sure, I’m in”! Gettit?

3. Make sure you take on all advice from other unsuccessful people!

They know what they are talking about!!
Find someone, either friend, family or foe who is killing it at achieving nothing too great with their life and simply copy their actions (or inactions). If they offer you advice or they feel like you are starting to dream of being happy in your life then make sure you take their advice to come back to the real world. These negative people will help you avoid getting ideas above your station.

 

4. Live in the “real world”. It was created by fake people for this purpose

Pretty straight forward. Watch plenty of news so you don’t forget how crappy our planet can be. Keep a job that makes you wish you were dead and stay in the relationships that make you want to kill. Easy Peasy!

Oh and you best “have a child you can’t afford” at some point as well. Taking this path in life is actually really exciting because you can spend the next 20 years dreaming about the day you get to retire!!! Get excited there? Good, but now chill out – this is real world, remember! You won’t have any saved cash and chances are that family will rarely visit because you are a terrible time to be around. That’s what you wanted though, right?

 

5. Always be guided by your fears.

They are the key to being held back. It’s scary to face your fears so just don’t do it. There’s no need to put yourself out there. You can easily cruise through life feeling weak and miserable, loads of people do it! Don’t stand up for yourself to yourself or you will end up beating your fears and that’s not the objective here!

 

6. Listen to your insecurities.

If your mind says your not good enough then it’s best you pay attention.
Yep, the great thing about this step is that you already have insecurities so there is even less work for you to do – score! If you feel you’ll be a terrible choice to fill a particular position in life then absolutely do not put yourself into that position. You have other people to please before yourself and they don’t need you wasting their time, or yours. Best you don’t even put yourself out there!

 

7. Good news – eat all the junk “food” you desire. Replace all water with soda!

This is when wasting your life becomes really fun and slightly dangerous. You get to eat whatever the hell you want, whenever you want! The only greens your need to consume are apple flavored Haribo’s! All hail the “food” industry. The reason behind this is because you don’t need any energy anyways and the mood-swings will fit right in with your empty schedule. Plus you don’t have any retirement fund or future plans so it’s totally cool if you become bed-bound through illness 20 years before your actually buried.

8. Try to control other people and focus on their opinions.

You should seek their acceptance and approval as often as you can!
People always have something to say about you or just a different opinion on certain topics, it’s really frustrating having to put up with people being wrong aaaaaaall the time! You should make it a habit to spend your time focussing on changing their opinions.. If that’s not your style then another approach is to simply always agree and try to fit in to the crowd, because if the majority of people think something then they are obviously right, right? Plus even if they are wrong who do you think you are to correct them, what the hell would you know??

 

9. Focus on your past mistakes and regrets. At least 1 hour per day!

C’mon you’ve done a lot of messed up, stupid stuff in your life haven’t you. If you want to fully sabotage any chance for future growth or success you should really be concentrating on all your past mistakes, try to think of things from 10 years ago as if it were going to happen later on this week. You won’t want to get off your seat for the rest of the day – mission accomplished!

 

10. Spend A LOT of time using technology.

The mind numbing effect of social media and binge watching television will negatively condition your mind while draining your creativity plus sitting still for a prolonged period of time will raise your blood pressure quite nicely! The time will pass anyway, right? Why not use your time to see how other people are spending theirs?
Bonus Tip* if your on Facebook, every now and then you will see someone else claiming that their life is going well. Make sure you take some time to slag them off and diminish their efforts at trying to enjoy their life. If you can pull this off successfully you’ll be amazed at how being a massive dickhead can make you feel really great about yourself plus justifying your own crap life choices.

I hope this list helps clear things up and gets you on your way to a midlife crisis in half the time..

Megan Morris,
The Happiness Coach.
Positively patronizing

Hoping to heaven that you sensed my sarcasm!

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Did we grow up to give up?

Did we grow up to give up? Sounds unnecessarily deep and profound but it’s something I’ve been thinking about lately? It’s something that keeps coming to my mind when I watch the way people act and speak… The people who have clearly given up on their dreams and it breaks my heart to say that there are waaaay too many suffering in this way.

As children, we were all immersed in some ideas and fairy-tales about what we wanted to become when we grew up.

Which I think is the equivalent of an adult see as being successful but look at the difference being you – now and then. You used to believe in yourself. Nothing was out of reach. As children, you knew what would make you happy and I bet you insisted on kicking up an almighty song, fight and dance should anyone try to withhold from you what you needed to be happy. Yet half of us are now fighting tooth and nail to hold onto what we already know makes up depressed, angry and empty.

We are born with the want to be happy. Regardless of what a child’s idea is (or how often it changes) you still rely on one single consistency – it EXCITES! We seem to lose sight of that deep desire as we age, why do we stop fighting for excitement?

So – is excitement the true, underlying force for “happiness”? It’s certainly a possible main factor and cause. Surely, the opposite of excitement is boredom? The feeling of being fed up and “having nothing to do”. Which is definitely a common issue in many modern men and women’s lives, however, it’s unfortunate that as we mature into adults we are brainwashed into seeing only one path in life. Weeds do not take any encouragement to grow and it seems they have hidden the path that we should take as individuals leaving us to fend for ourselves or fight our way through the thorns when we can no longer trudge through a mundane existence.

We are led to believe that the meaning of success in life is to stay at school – preferably making it to college – grow up, get a good job ( and by “good” they mean well-paying – your happiness is irrelevant), meet a mate, buy a house (yes, this is acceptable debt,) get married and then reproduce someone to repeat the cycle. The vast majority of humans think they are above all other species on the Earth and yet we see success as following a similar pattern to the creatures we share the planet with.

This seems to be the main aim, what your older loved ones want for you above all else, without this completed checklist you will be miserable and die alone, obviously! That was the view of success in our society and for the most part, still is.

 

THE POOR LEADING THE BLIND

It isn’t because our parents and teachers didn’t love and want the best for us. They conditioned us to believe what their role models had demonstrated to them. A cycle of boredom and bitterness is all some people ever know. They use different methods of short-term gratification to justify moving on to the next day while occasionally abusing other people to gain some small hint of an ego boost. Put simply there are too many people that are miserable because they have no sense of purpose and no one help them see their biggest issues. Divulging in a continuous loop of soul destroying week days, TV, shit foods, and then a weekend of boozing to drown out the fact they aren’t living up to their full potential and are too afraid and “society conditioned” to dare to look for better. We are dying. Not because that chosen lifestyle is slowly weakening our mind and body. It is due to the fact our species are not really living – at least the majority aren’t! For the record I, personally am not judging or trying to mock anyone, I’m simply bringing attention to it.

We don’t know how to live or why to bother. We follow the older humans without realizing they too are lost and bumping into walls and breaking down. As teenagers – did we grow up to give up? Nowadays we go through adolescence as fast as we can assuming that becoming a certain age provides us with freedom and when we get there we are doused with the ice cold “time to grow up” water.

We become conditioned to live and feel a certain way. Taught that successful people with confidences and dreams are kidding themselves. That one day they too will fall flat on their face to be doused down and forced to ‘face up to the real world’.  As children we are encouraged to believe in it all, anything we can imagine we can have, anything we want we must pursue, and anything we don’t know we can learn..

Then we become afraid to step outside of our comfort zones. Using alcohol, certain company or a specific environment to allow us to be true to ourselves. At what point do people accept that being miserable and embodying a sense of failure is “comfortable”?

The people you look at in awe because of their energy and achievements were not born with special minds or abilities. They just practice a different set of rules and boundaries. There are losers, fighters and winners. The “unsuccessful” stay within the white lines that society has created, being comfortable feeling uncomfortable.

Happy successful people are no exception to the rule, they just choose not to follow them. Working harder on themselves as opposed to working on someone else’s dream.

 

So, is “success” simply the freedom to be yourself and live your life, your way? Allow yourself the imaginative chance to chase the positive emotions that we need to thrive. To reach for the events others are afraid to admit they desire? If so, then anyone can be successful if they allow themselves the chance to chance fear and failure. Is the true meaning of happiness simply the daily presence of excitement?

 

I’d really love your opinion on whether or not you think we are all brainwashed (accidentally) into negativity at a young age, let me know? On facebook or in the comments below. Megan X

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Accountability Partner! Who, what, why?

Have you ever heard that term floating around? An Accountability Partner?
Imagine you have told someone nonchalantly that you are going to change your life in someway, probably a promise relating to giving up a bad habit? But then for whatever reason you didn’t follow through and they (lovingly) mocked you or asked how you were getting on with your resolution.. Do you remember the way that made you feel – guilty, like you had failed, or maybe just plain embarrassed?
Have you ever wanted to go the gym and really hoped there had been someone to go with you but you didn’t find anyone who was interested in going with you? Think about the reasons that you wanted them there with you in the first place? For moral support, so you “weren’t alone”, to spur you on when you get slow and you can return the favour when they need you?
An accountability partner is someone to hold you accountable for the goals you set yourself. It’s great to have someone to support you and even help you stay disciplined. You share your goals with each other and stay in contact as often as you like to review your progress; daily, each morning or weekly for example. You can also set consequences for each other, such as if you don’t reach your target you could donate money to a charity or miss out on something you enjoy doing.
healthy support
If you’re looking for an accountability partner be careful who you choose. If you partner up with someone who is non-committal and generally lazy then that will hinder your progress because their undisciplined behavior will rub off on you giving you an excuse to throw in the towel when you hit hard times. When you set goals and go about following through on them you are going to meet challenges and there will be times you want to quit when the going gets tough. This is why you need to select someone who will be a true ‘partner’ and not someone who might end up hindering your efforts. You also need to make sure your partner has good intentions for you, there are a lot of people who won’t want you to achieve your goals and unfortunately these people can be those closest to you; such as your friends and family. Someone with a negative outlook on life won’t help you positively achieve your goals!
So, what do you do if there is no one in your personal life right now who will positively support you? Be open to finding someone online, we live in an age where we have the ability to reach out to thousands of people through the wonders of social media. There’s a hell of a lot of negativity online, theres no denying that but there are a lot of support groups and places to find people who are similar to you. On Facebook, for example, there are groups that you can join filled with men and woman who have the same ambitions as you or who are also looking to commit to setting awesome life-changing goals. There may also be support groups where you live.
If you have no luck in your personal life or online then consider hiring a coach or mentor who will also be able to give you plenty of insight and advice on where you are going right or wrong. Granted, this will most likely cost you money but it will be more than worth it for the happiness and success you will experience in your life once you reach those goals and start making your dreams a reality!!
Good luck and go for your goals!!
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Anxious of what other people think of you?

Ahh the daily struggling of fearing criticism from other people! This is something I personally struggled with really badly for years.
I’m sure you’ve felt this way, the feeling of ‘ooh I cant do that! What if so-and-so thinks I’m being stupid’ ‘what if they laugh at me’ ‘what if they say something nasty’ ‘What if I’m not as good as that other woman’….. The list of what ifs, buts and coconuts goes on and on, right? It’s definitely not something you should be ashamed of or try to hide away from, its basic human nature. We are social creatures whom all have a subconscious need to be liked and loved. I’m sure most of you will have witnessed how the lack of love and human connection can tear someone apart from the inside out. If you allow it to the “Villian’s Voice” (as I call it) in your mind will really mess with your energy, get you down, make you doubt your decisions, make you doubt your path in life and you big dreams all at once! Fear will block your big dreams like nothing else can!!!! Whatever way it is spun for you this is the fear of rejection.
But…
Realize how big the world is – open your mind to the fact that out of the billions, trillions of people on this earth there will always be someone who has something negative to say towards others. Now understand that people do this to ward off their own insecurities with the belief that it will either protect themselves in some way or do great things for their own ego (it won’t by the way – being negative to others is the opposite of the ideal formula to bring yourself an ego boost).
Confident and self assured people do not put others down, they raise them up! The words that you think people MIGHT say to you are actually a much more accurate reflection of your deep, personal fears (AAAND for the record, if other people were to say those horrible comments to you then that would be a good representation of their fears and insecurities – I am not saying that makes them any less than you or I but simply that their opinion should not matter to you!)  I highlight the word MIGHT as your mental block is nothing more than a fear of what MIGHT happen, it has not happened and the chances of it ever panning out exactly how you imagined in your worst daymares are more unlikely than me marrying a banana!
Your mindset shift will come when you make the CONSCIOUS DECISION that you would rather be mocked for being yourself, than simply accepted for being someone else. In reality, you will be loved for being yourself, envied even, for your bravery to be yourself. When you accept that fear and understand that it is a belief and a delusion built in your mind by the previous experiences of your live. There is no way that you can be ‘perfect’ to everyone because perfect is not a definite state of something, it is an opinion and is a different outcome depending on the beliefs, expectations and taste of an individual. This isn’t actually a bad thing atal but it is VITAL to your happiness that you understand and accept it. There are a whole host of cultures, nationalities, and personalities and if every human were to agree the world would be a rather dull place to live. Just as it would be if there were no individuals who could conquer this fear of rejection and step out from the crowd. The world would not progress or grow and would result in an existence where we were all miserable, trapped and confused about who we are.
african proverb
So I hear ya, how do you beat your fear and start kicking ass by being you?! You choose what to focus on. Not to do something you wish to do to avoid the pain that might follow is a choice. You can however choose to accept that there will always be people who will not appreciate your actions or what you have to say – there will be alot more who simply don’t notice or care – and instead you can CHOOSE to FOCUS on what is it you actually WANT TO ACHIEVE, feel and do. Focusing on the outcome your craving is one of the most important steps to follow through on any of your desires and dreams.
Perhaps you want to write a blog but are afraid that noone will like it – focus on that it may change one persons life for the better and NOT on the thought that ten others may say your wasting your time. Perhaps you wish to change your clothing style but fear others thinking you look utterly ridiculous – focus on the empowerment of being in control of your own choices and how fabulous you look and feel within yourself… I have found that if there is noone doubting your dreams or mocking your decisions then your most likely not being true to yourself. Once you get over this initial fear of rejection you will start to see your fears getting smaller and less daunting and you will realize the grass is greener where you water it.
Accept how large this earth is, realize that there will be people who laugh, envy and mock you but focus and enjoy that there will be many more that love you! Above all else be empowered by the fact that you are in control of your own heart and head or prepare to live your live condemned resentful, restrained and unhappy.
CHANGE YOUR FOCUS AND ALWAYS BE YOURSELF, you will be both ridiculed and envied for it but you will be too satisfied to give a crap!
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